Mastering Your Mindset
Mastering your mindset is like telling yourself to stop eating cookies, then you stop. (definitely NOT- LOL) The reality is that we typically stop when the cookies run out. Right? The problem with mindset is we always have negative thought patterns, so how do we master them so they don't leave us with no option but to tolerate and be hurt by those patterns?
The answer comes by challenging negative, unsupportive thoughts and patterns and then shifting to more empowering thinking. I know, I know- eating cookies sounds better, but cookies don't offer a life-changing transformation as mindset does, even though they are yummy and make us feel good for a few moments.
As you read on, if it helps, grab a cookie or a beverage to enjoy while you learn these six tips to master your mindset so you can quit beating yourself up for everything your inner critic says. With a growth-oriented, solid mindset, work-life balance and joy while building a scalable business are entirely possible, so let's get to how that happens.
Let's use Jamie as an example. She's a mom of 4, a boutique and gift shop owner, who is very active in her church and community. She has a solid business with steady growth, but staffing is challenging, with seemingly no good people to hire. The situation was a continuous aggravation as new hires came and went quickly, leaving her to fill in the gaps in the work schedule. As a result, there was no time left for strategic planning and actions, nor was there spare time to show up for all her children's activities. Her husband had to help fill in more at home, and the guilt was mounting for not being there for her family physically and mentally, which created tension in their relationship.
The important thing is that the problem, "there are no good people to hire," wasn't the real problem. Instead, her mind was churning 24/7, trying to figure out how to find good people for over two years trying to solve an unsolvable problem created in her mind.
The steps to uncover the real problem were all done through mindset work. So now I'll break that down.
1. Separate the Facts From Fiction
Jamie thought there were no good people to hire because the people she hired were "late, unmotivated, called in sick, and disrespectful."
The fact is many of the people she hired exhibited one or more of those behaviors, and Jaime resented them for it.
The fiction is not all of them were all of those things. Several initially showed up engaged and happy to be there, but the approach to dealing with those who were "irresponsible" and not doing what they "should" was frustration, shaming, and punishing, creating a tense and unpleasant environment.
As the aggravation of staff not showing up as expected triggered a victim mindset, the whole workplace atmosphere was undesirable, leading to the "good" hires making a quick departure.
2. Consider the Other Possibilities
Jamie assumed that the turnover was "no good people" were available to hire. And there was plenty of evidence in the news to support staff shortages and morale issues post-pandemic to support that belief. But, unfortunately, she took that as the only truth, and staff turnover marginalized success and created undue stress for two solid years.
When we started working together in the spring of 2022, this was an overwhelming issue on Jamie's mind. So we began to address it by exploring other possibilities why she couldn't hire and retain great staff.
We started with her. I asked, How are you exhibiting similar behaviors as those you are unhappy with? Keep in mind it is natural and normal for us to return like energy. So, frustration evokes frustration, disappointment breeds disappointment, and wanting to quit fosters a mindset of giving up. Ouch! Recognizing this fact was just one of many AHA moments as I helped her explore other possibilities with other problems where limited, negative thinking kept her stuck, overwhelmed, and angry.
As I mentioned in the beginning, Jamie is a woman of Faith and a giving person, so she often told herself she had to E"do" more, then was utterly exhausted from overdoing. So to shift that belief to B more effective in the "doing," she put intentional, daily practices in place that sought God's word for who He called her to "be."
3. There is no Failure
As we uncovered other possibilities, Jamie realized she had much work to do on her approach and her mindset to create a positive, cohesive, scalable business. She began to feel like she had made an "epic failure" that she couldn't recover. She started beating herself up mentally and was ready to close up and give up since she didn't have what it takes to manage all the "crap" that goes on.
The overwhelming feeling of struggle and failure rose to the top, and it had to be eradicated. So the perspective shift here is this:
There are no failures. There is only clarification that what you thought would work didn't pan out as expected.
Can you see it's pretty crazy that because we don't meet the expectations, we or someone sets around a situation that means failure? It only means, "that didn't work; better try something else."
From there, Jamie adopted an experimentation mindset as she began to play with new ways of approaching every step in hiring, onboarding, and training. As a result, her whole energy shifted, and the people she attracted to her shop were much better fits. Soon it began to feel like her shop ran itself, and she could take some much-needed time off.
4. Check the Meaning
Failure is the most popular mindset stumbling block due to its widely perceived negative meaning, and it's not the only one. Other common ones are perfectionism, worthiness, and judgment of self and others.
Jamie struggled heavily with perfectionism and judgment. She grew up with a mom who pushed her to be and look perfect. To perform and achieve perfection.
She suffered guilt and lack of worth for never feeling like she could meet the expectations. The meaning she took away from that she sucks, and everyone who isn't perfect sucks. This belief negatively affected every relationship and activity she did. She was exhausted from over-managing all those imperfect people, hurt from failure, and weary from the burden of never really being perfect.
She learned, and you can too, to uncover the stories or meaning around facts of situations when those stories were creating unwanted feelings that brought unproductive actions. As she did, the new, more positive meanings enabled more empowered, fun, and practical approaches to the staffing situation and all aspects of her business and life.
5. Master the "Be"ing to Have Joy in the "Do"ing
As I mentioned in the beginning, Jamie is a woman of Faith and a giving person, so she often told herself she had to "do" more, then was utterly exhausted from overdoing. So to shift that belief, she had to focus more on the BEcoming more than the DOing." She put intentional, daily practices in place that sought God's word for who He called and made her to BE."
As she sought scripture daily to help her trust God and His promises, she found more peace and joy even in the struggles of making meaningful change. The practice of daily prayer, scripture reading, and gratitude lowered her stress levels immensely as she refocused her approach not only on staffing but virtually every aspect of her business.
Consider what practice(s) you can commit to that will feed your hope, peace, and joy as you step into more of who you want to BE in the DOing of all that will serve you and others well simultaneously.
6. Make Your Mindset a Priority
Jamie had heard the term mindset and thought of it as a "buzzword." What she discovered as I held up the mirror for her to see what her mindset reflected brought numerous "Ah-Ha" moments, she shifted long-held unsupportive beliefs to new perspectives that changed everything for the better.
Not only does she have a fantastic staff who runs her shop with great results, but the best result she claimed was FREEDOM! Freedom- mentally, physically, relationally, spiritually, and financially.
Make building a rock-solid, positive mindset a priority. Investing in a professional coach who can help you flip the script on all that gets in your way to success by mastering your mindset will exponential success that will will blow your mind! :)
Want to experience the power of laser mindset coaching? Schedule your complimentary session here and break through what's stressing you now.